A New Semester
Well my last blog was quite a while ago and so I decided to update just because somthing "big" has happened...kinda haha. Well today was a new semester which was quite stupid seeing how its a fully day of school on a FRIDAY..watsup with that? anyways so today started off bright and early even though it was quite cloudy and rainy and so I walked into my first class where conviently noone was in so i just sat there and wiatied for people the fill the room and I was really hopin that certain people would be in my class just to make things interesting. So as class was about to start one of the people I kinda wanted to be in my class was in my class! i'm quite happy for that but I just hope that maybe things will develop from it =) but ya my first class is Environmental Issues, and class was quite boring today and thenn headed off to my next class, which is International Business to see who was in that one luckly my buddy zhi was in it with me so that one was safe and the teacher is pretty cool too. Lunch came and it was filled with some fun time with the old gang of parham, zhi and ming where we played big 2 for the whole entire time which was quitee fun actaully. A few things here and there happend at lunch which made me think and made me well rethink things over. Headed off to Literature studies where I have a few friends in that one and I made a pretty good impression with the class and stuff today with my comedic presentation =) haha thennnn the low point of my day which was Economics =( I wasn't really "tight" with anyone in that class which proved to be a big downfall even though I met a few people and stuff it wasn't that great. I felt like I had to slip myself into things which I have never done before and I really need a few friends in this class beacuse the whole thing is revolved around some stock market compition. So that was my day, i'm pretty tired however this weekend is up in the air as well beacuse of this Blizzard thingy. I hope its fun =) anyways i don't even kno who reads this anymore but I gotta pack a few last minute things and I shall head off =) later G's
i am feeling EXAUHSTED!
well it definitly has been quite a while since my last post and there have been many things that have happend. theres just SO MUCH DRAMA IN MY LIFE! haha
Well anyways so this first week back has been quite hellish for me. Comming from sucha nice, laid back and relaxing week I thought the trend would continue. but NOPE. not at ALL. During the break, my sleeping shecduale was completely messed up. I would sleep @ 3-4 o clock and wake up @ 12-1ish which was TERRIBLE, beacuse before the LATEST I could ever sleep was 'til 11a.m. So this sudden change of sleeping habits was quite a bit of shock for me. But it was actually good for me beacuse i lost weight from this! haha see cause i'd skip out on lunch and only have like a meal a day! Anyways so this week i've been pull all nighters, every SINGLE day of the week! monday i pointlessly stayed up till 3 trying to get my english ISP essay and my history flow chart started. That didnt happen. Tuesday night I tried to do my history flow chart but the thing is, with my history class, every student takes advantage of our teachers niceness. He's really leanent on the due date and if you say you don't have it that day you could hand it in like 2-3 weeks later and NO marks will be deducted. Personally I have never done this to him and I didn't wanna start but I had to get the extension. So I ended up not doing it and again I tried to work on my english essay, which was a pretty bad turn out. I decided that YES I will FORCE myself to work when I get home until whenver it takes me to finish it. I got home, and procrastinated like CRAZY, I did this until like 5 p.m. which was pretty bad. So i got cracking. But I didn't even kno where to start beacause I forgot how my book went beacuse of the break. So I had to recompile myself and my thoughts which took quite a while. For the first time, I was really worried about this little ISP beacuse my english mark is pretty poor right now and this would definitly help me get back on the horse. So I asked a bunch of my friends to help me out, like to give me pointers and all that and im so thankful for everyone who helped me out when I needed you guys. Anyways so long story short, with the occasional check up with my friends who were doing this as well it took me till 6:30 in the morning to get everything done. That was the longest i've ever stayed up for ANYTHING haha but it was good. So when I got to school and stuff I was pretty hyped up, and I ended up with 3 hours of sleep cause it was a shortened day. So got to school on time and everything and I was so excited and happy about handing it in haha it was sucha relief and i felt like i did a pretty good job. so i got that mother over with. However i was not out of the woods yet! the night right after I had to finish that flow chart. At first I didn't really care so i took my usual nap which lasted from about 5-8ish which cut down alot of my work time. So at first i didnt really do the work...i was like whatevr i don't feel like working at all and plus I can get another extension ANNNDD theres a seminar going on tommorw so no class...it was SOO tempting to just leave it till later on. But my friend helped me out SOOO MUCH and im SOO thankful i added her on msn like a few days ago and plus we clicked like crazy haha. nyways so she sent me like ALL the info i needed to get cracking on my flow chart. so i did everything and ended up finishing at friggen 6 AGAIN. but i was like alright tomorrow is confrence! so that means no class in the morning which means 3 horus of sleep again! LITTLE DID I KNOW, IT WAS A DAY 2 which means i have ENGLISH first and NOT history, which was the class that had a seminar going on. So i rushed to school and got there at 9:55, PERFECT i was RIGHT ON TIME. I look at my history class and i realize that a bunch of grade 11s r comming out of it. GREAT. i Skipped out on english, a course i really need to goto and now I don't have a class till 1:50p.m.! SO that day was RETARDED. Since i had that seminar period, lunch, spare. it left me with NOTHING TO DO for all that time. so that was a waste of a day. SO then, AGAIN i thought i would b out of the woods. but NOPE! last night i had to do my family studies notes! which took even LONGER then I thoguht it would. I ended up sleeping at......YES 5 again! thankfully i had a nap...so TODAY right now its 1:30 and if igoto sleep now itll b the earliest day ever. but im not yet kuz im gonna talk abit about more sutff thats been on my mind! haha =) see even though i dont post that often my occasional posts make up for the lost days =)
So today was pretty eventful. Quite good actually. So it all started off history class, which was alright. just getting my family studies notes finished off, watching a video about China and stuff, nothign too special. so then it was english, which was nice cause it was pretty laid back. So we had to get into groups for a project, specifically a media related project haha and oh boy i felt so WANTED haha kuz ppl kept asking me like yo do u have a group yet? and all that junk haha but i had one ;) so i had to say no :( so we watched more videos n stuff. lunch was like my hi-lite of the day. so i was inside the food serving part of the caf and an olld buddy of mine was conviently doing secuirty haha, i didnt kno but nywayz me n parham walked in kuz parham wanted to buy food...haha not surprsiing nywayz so i was walking around that small little ktichen and so outta no where this old time buddy says hey matt hows it goin'. and so i was like good good u? and we just sparked up alittle catch up conversation n stuff. it was really breif but i was quite happy for that. cause we kinda seperated as friends and honestly i thought i could never regain this frendship i had with them, and to be honest it was like a tight group we had. iunno man sumthign as little as that conversation made my day. I've always considered squashing the beef, but i never saw a window. i jsut wanna clear stuff up and just get everything outta the way. i unno man im hopeful. God I pray that you can help me through this, that I can humble myself and I pray that you can speak through me.Pray all these in Jesus's name, Amen
However a dismal part of the day happened after school. I was supposed to meet up with brian for some jits. Lately we've improved individually and as ateam and we've been winning ALOT. So today we were hoping to not just win at jits but hopefully get influenced by the nice girls there. HAHA me however deicded not to go down this route anymore, and him being distracted by others was not focused. Frustration filled the air as we kept losing and losing however we kept getting wins that weren't that satisfying. I started getting my groove back but my partner didnt. honestly during that moment i was pretty frustrated at the fact that he wasnt playing at his full potential and I was trying as hard as I could and producing. Like i dont kno if ur reading this but honestly im sorry for wat i did and im not mad at u guy, ur wicked at jits and im thankful that we b running tables at orbit ;) haha, just try and stay focused on the game and not sum stupid girl ahaha =)
anyways so this post took me till 3:20. how gay. haha
what about God?
It is currently 1:30 in the morning on a thursday morning that is. I was quite bored so I was surfing around the web and stuff and just reading up on drumming technqiues and tips and stuff off this drumming website. For some reason I clicked a topic about some guy wanting to learn how to drum gospel style and stuff. Me being quite curious I just clicked it and read up on the guys situation and everything. However I didnt give much care or thought about it, just another distressed drummer looking for help. I clicked a link that someone offered up which has video lessons on how to do gospel drumming. So i was watching a few of the videos, 2 of em, and both of em shows the drummer doing CRAZY CRAZY stuff. Almost if he was showboating. He would do these insane fills, get up off his seat, smash cymbals. Personally I have kinda struggled with this topic, how much is too much? Personally, I strive to try new things on the kit and I try to incorporate it into songs for worship during service and stuff, also I pick up showboating stuff as well, like stick twirling and all that jazz that is completly unncesscary for worship and even bad for it. I do it during practise but its for fun, however lately i've been really tempted to do it for actual service and also I've been tempting to do some crazy fills and just all out insaneness. So after watching those 2 videos with the guys just doing crazy crazy things it gave me doubt. and questioned how I play my drums. I asked myself can I do this during service? I see them doing it for God, in God's house, why can't I do these things? I was starting to have the mind set of its ok cause other people are doing it. I now realize that I have definitly stumbled onto ROCKY ROCKY shores. So I clicked another video, it was 16 mimnutes long compared to the other 2 which were about a minute and a bit more, and it took a while for it to download but I waited for some reason. So this guy in dreads behind a plexyglass starts talking and talks and talks and talks. At first it was compeltly uninteresting to me but as an advent learner I was hoping to see how well he played. He kept emphasizing how all these people play insanely on fills and stuff and all that stuff is unncesscary. He went for the clean straight foward shots but with rhythm. without all those crazy fills that have 50 million hits in one second, and he kept emphasizing it but he kept saying it was for recordings...which threw me off again! he was like kuz when you record it you dont want a sloppy insane fill and stuff so i was like...alright?....cause i will b recording every sunday right?...haha but uhh so he showed other techniques and stuff. weird thing was i kept watching. He finished his little lesson and he went on a rant. However this rant wasn't just complaning, this was PREACHING. and it spoke to me, well... more like a slap in the face.
He said "you always have a person comming up to you and saying, brother you were killing the drums, but you don't really want that beacuse all its doing is just building up your flesh, and it makes you wanna do more stuff. Someone can come up to u and say you were killing the drums, and they could be struggling with ANYTHING, but since your mind is focused on what you just did, you can't do what God wants you to do [which is to help with the person who is struggling]. This [the drums] is nothing but a vehicle that God has given you to minister"
He then goes on to say that alot of the times that just means you gotta play the most simple beat and scope out who needs to be blessed. He then talks about how he could be playing for worship and he could hit a drum and someone would go up to him and say, man i really received something from God when you hit that drum. OR they could be comming up to me and say boy you be killing them drums!
but what about God.
"This is about a spiritual walk, about getting more from the Lord, and once you get more from the Him, he will in turn annoint you, once you turn to the Holy Ghost, he fills you and then that thing just sprays up and you just play differntly, this stuff I just showed you [playing simply] crucifies the flesh."
He then talks about David. "I'll refer back to scripture, How Saul had an evil spirit, when he was just mad and angry. And jesse has a son who plays the harp, and he could play the spirit right off of you, scripture says: David came in, the Lord was with him. And when David played, the spirit left Saul. Look at the assignment David had, to come and deliver a man from the demonic force. This [the drums] is spiritual warfare when we're playing this is not glory to ourselves. I could've come in here and showcase everything I knew, but I didn't feel it was appropriate. I felt that as drummers and even musicians need to understand is that first of all we need to have a "lifestyle" behind all of this playing. I'm gonna tell you how you can check if somebody has a lifestyle. Go up to them and say, you know..I was really blessed by your playing, and see how they react to it. If they they are all in themselves, you can tell who has the decor of "I'M THE MAN", thats not what God is looking for. God is looking for servants, ministers, who can go out, do their assignments like David did and deliver somebody. Minister to somebody into the faith. So its not neccesarily showing "what you got" its all bout giving your services to God."
I can realate to what he's saying completly. A few services before when I was doing worship, there was a bigger turn out of older people from the Cantonese service that are friends of my parents. After service was over, a few of them would come up to me and congratulate me on my playing. Personally I don't really like being congrulated for anything, it's just who I am but I have to admit at times it really feels good. I look at it now and i see it as wrong. But in the moment I lose that sense, I know its wrong but in that moment it just feels so good. Drumming is a God given gift to me which He wants me to use for Him, not for my own good.
It's really crazy how God works, In most cases I would have never watched for all of that 14 minutes of the video, but I did and I was completely enlightend. This sheds a whole new light on worship. Not only was it practical but it brought thigns back to scripture which is a definite plus. I watched this video, more specifically this part for the 3rd time to absorb it all and the 3rd time was to retype everything this guy, DeMiyon Hall a gospel drummer had to say. It really touched me and this isn't just applicable to drums, This can be applied to any musical instrument that is utilzied in worship. Actually, this can be applied to ANTYHING in ministry. Pride is a very dangerous thing and is a reoccuring theme in minsitry which can bring the downfall of the whole entire purpose and reasoning of why we are doing these things for Him. I really hope this speaks to you as it did for me. Its 2:12 A.M. right now and it was definitly worth the stay up.
Way too mischevious and energetic to sleep so...
I will blog! its been a while since my last negative post so I think i'm gonna lighten up this mood hurr. So how has everyone been doing? I hope everythings going well but its tough eh? very rarely do we get like tranquel peace where everything just seems to be awesome. But you know what? Christmas is comming up and usually that peace comes during that time so hold on guys we're almost there! So ya back to the more uplifting stuff. haha you know i found a TRICK for GEL. See i'm wayy too lazy to wash my gel out when i get home, and I like to put my fingers through my soft hair often but i dont get to do that with gel'd hair so it kinda gets to me. So I found out that if you constantly just brush your hair with ur hands all this "dandruffy" stuff will come out ANDDD your hair will be soft and normal! its SOO WICKED! So ya haha well tonight was pretty good. It was pretty laid back, I decided to take a nice long nap from 5-8ish which was quite good beacuse since I had to study for family studies I'd do it with more energy later on at night rather then struggling through it later on at night with little energy, the only sacrifice I'd have to make would be that I would be sleeping late at night beacuse naps screw my sleep timing up! So after my nap I had some dinner and I actually watched TV, procrastination at its finest. So I was watching Ultimate Hustler and Amazing Race, which I was watching more of Ultimate Huslter MORE SO then Amazing Race. I really suggest you ALL to watch Ultimate Hustler, I SWEAR its a wicked show, its like The apprentice but ghettoized(?) haha! Basically a few people compete to be an "apprentce" for Daymon Dash who is some big business dude up at Rocafella! And so the show is pretty funny and the tasks they have to do all take place within new york which is like the coolest city on earth! The thing is though that I know that the rerun will come around this week again and the one for Amazing Race will come back on sunday but it just didn't have that FLAVOUR that ultimate hustler has! Anyways Amazing Race was pretty good though. I firggne LOVE the Linz Family beacuse they're soo funny and they're pretty cool and I hope they win. if you didn't know they are the 3 brothers with one sister. They seem pretty stacked but sometimes things don't really work out for them.My second favorite would have to be the Bransen Family, which is the one with 3 daughters and one dad beacuse they are also quite cool haha and with a "disadvantage" of the father it gives them a more appealing story of when they do succeed. Now down to my annoyances, the top of the list would actaully have to be the Godlewski Family, the 4 sisters aka the Desperate Housewives. haha they bicker so much that it just gets annoying. ANd when whats her face felt so bad for being blamed for something she wasn't fully repsonsiblie they treat her like CRAP! jeez i wanted to smack that fatter lady in the face. for REAL! and finally the weaver family, or the florida team. They are pretty much hated on within the whole thing and I would have to side with the haters. They are quite the gay for being so retarded sometimes. Not so much the kid kuz hes pretty cool but the rest of em r just so gay! I have no remorse for them, even when they say oh ya everyone hates us on this game, boo hoo cry me a river, just resign from the game then! jeez. if YOU don't wanna travel the world and do CRAZY thigns then let someone else who wants to do it! People these days eh...hahaha i get so worked up over a tv show. Speaking of TV shows These are the ones I watch from a monday-sunday basis. Monday: Growing Up Gotti's(9-10)(if I have time). Tuesday: Ultimate Hustler(8:30-9:30), Amazing Race(9-10). Wednesday: Criss Angel: Mind Freak(9-10), Unique Whips(10-10:30?) . Thursday(the best TV day of the week): OC(8-9), Reunion/CSI (9-10) I usualyl download the reuinion episode beacuse I catch the CSI one. Friday: anything, usually the City TV movie. Saturday: MADTV (11-12) Sunday: Family Guy. All these shows r SOO wicked! I'd have to say the best day would be Thursday and Wednesday would be quite lame cause Mind Freak would usually be reruns. Hockey is pretty exciting as well and watching raps aint too bad, but it sucks cause we will NEVER win. So just before I was blogging I was on this forum that my friend introduced me to. www.crackmuzik.com/forum This site is pretty intresting beacuse I am having a growing intrest in all that is the hip hop lifestyle/news and al lthat stuff. Its weird! but SOO intriguing! So I went to the style/clothing forum to see what these people like and stuff. They got all these wicked shoes and stuff and these guys also put up links to online stores that sell custom stuff and all taht and its WICKED! I really wanna get my hands on a Bathing APE shirt or like Billionaire Boys Club shirt...but I was checking out ebay and that stuff is like friggen EXPENSIVE. The thing about BAPE is that everything is limited edition, so shirts cost abotu 80 dollars! TSHIRTS! but its wicked wicked stuff. I think im slowly changing, style wise and even conforming, but i think i'm always trying to find a way to distinguisish myself from the crowd even though style wise im conforming. The thing is though i'm always wanting new things which is terrible beacuse its sucha crazy waste of money and i'm feeling weird about it cause I wasn't really raised up to be like this. Anyways another thing that I was preoccupied with before I wwas writting this little entry up would be ONLINE FREESTYLE BATTLES. HAHA taht stuff is SOO AWESOME. People got TALENT up in there, son! Crazyiest disses and everything! its funy stuff. If you have time. www.raphustle.com goto messageboards and click text battles. if you really want try and find the guy called cbreeze. That guy has SICK rhymes just pure DISSIN' up them haters son! HAHA i talk like a retard. but its funny! =) but ya Christmas is rolling around and I think ill b posting up a nice christmas wish list for all ya'll =) and itd be nice if the rest of you made one so i'd kno wat to get u folks for chrsitmas. Spread the love guys! and yes its not all about presents but its sure a wicked part of it no? =) haha
UPDATE: So two posts back I was telling you guys about the rockets that I bought. which was about like 2ish weeks ago. Currently, I am STRUGGLING to get this bag finished. I CAN'T FINISH IT! Physically my body rejects it but I eat about like 2 rolls everyday just to get it done with and its bad cause its like a subliminal thing, I sit down in class, get bored and i reach for my bag of rockets. HAHA oh boy and they don't even appeal to me that much! One of my stratagies though was that if i gave it a break for like 2 days and went back to it maybe I wouldn't get indigestion like I did before. That was wrong. HAHA The funny thing is I don't learn from my lesson and I won't until I finish the bag, then I will hit up zellars and invest in a differnt type of candy. hAHAH =) I will try and update more beacuse ya i know you guys wanna read about my wicked life ;) its good to see some people blogging ever so often...kinda NOT REALLY, so can u blog more please? that would be AWESOME. and if I don't have your link to ur whatever then PLEASE leave me a comment, i LOVEE reading comments! I think im starting to get tired so imma finish this and read some more rap battles. HAHA =D good night yall
continuing on..
haha well my blog about getting people to blog didn't really work but it doesn't mean im gonna give up! haha but there has this thing that has been bugging me for quite a while.
The topic for todays disucussion isssssssssss.....DRINKING. Not just plain old WATER but ALCHOHLIC DRINKING! (everyone gasp. thank you) yes I said it! Its a common occurance in todays high schools where many of the teens drink on sometimes a regular basis of weekends or even bi weekly. Its a growing epidemic and its been bothering yours truely. I'm sure you, the reader have tried it when you were young if not I guarentee you that somebody you know has. And I just find it soo stupid how people get so excited to do it and stuff and they just get wasted. Compeltly wasted, but you know what? they LOVE it cause when they're crazy drunk they have SOO much fun. And then you hear stories of people doing super shots and everything and like all this other crap. Jeez shut up I don't care. People who drink lose a lot of my respect. I know this guy, from my school and some would call him a poser and stuff but hes kind of an outcast, but he "forces" himself into the crowd. Lately he has taken the image of a rocker. He's a chinese guy, grade 12 but i dont know, he has image crises sometimes, he goes from a hardcore basketball player, to a hardcore rocker with The Game CD on his ipod that has been purchased from hong kong. identity crisis no? ANyways he is a pretty smart boy, hes not compeltly stupid but a lot of people make fun of him just cause he tries ever so hard and I must admit that I was part of the crowd. But anyways at times I didn't think he was too bad of a person you know, like hes a chrsitian and stuff but i dunno but anyways I found out recently that he drinks, well I knew that from last yaer but I found out more from a friend of his. He was telling me how he actaully dosn't like drinking, at all, he thinks that its really nasty and evertyhing. BUT he does it just so he can fit in with people. The thing is I see him sometimes talking to these people and saying how ya we shuold go drinking on saturdays n stuff. I was like ok so hes a drinker now but I find out hes a retard! Like I see how people are strating to drink in like Grade 10 and 11 and stuff and I dunno, thats when that stuff starts like thats when I started hearing of all the drinking stuff happening to my friends. And the way I see it anobody lower then me in age drinking is a big nono, and i told one of my friends this and she was like we arn't that young we're just one year younger and I guess i still see people as the really young "kids" they are. And like the parties I hear when like everyone just gets WASTEd to the max and do really bad stuff just boggles me. I dunno man its a little rant but I dont like it one bit. i couldnt sleep kuz i napped b4 so this is why im still on
come on guys!!
haha well yes i was reading sear's blog and I believe that this blogging thing isn't dead yet.ok fine it is! but lets bring it back folks! i got 2 words for you. come onnnnnnnnnnnn =) hahaha like blogging was wicked cool. I know everyone is "busy" but i'm sure you can take like max TEN minutes of your life to reflect by writing it all out on the interweb! its awesome fun. I know I love to read other people's blogs just to see how they're doing and stuff. Don't you love MY entries? think about ME I sit here and write and write and write yet I never get to read! thats not fair =( so come on people! lets BLOG/XANGA or WHATEVER! =) come onnnnnnnnnnn haha the way I see it is I gotta lead by example, soo i start and then get another person that would blog often maybe like sear now=D and we'll start sumthing ginormous!
so anwyays EVERYBODY START BLOGGING AGAIN!
Alright whats been up with me. I attended christian fellowship today, havn't been there in 2 weekish kuz as pris would say it, it was kinda "dry" and it was really. but iunno its a pretty nice cozy place sometimes. Maybe its like that to me cause im starting to get to know the people more and I feel more like at home. And i was talking to mike about this and it was about jeremiah, and how it just wasn't the same anymore. somthing was missing. Now if you are a regular attender of jeremiah now it feels weird dosn't it? to me it feels like kind of a chore. or like something u do on saturdays which you don't really wanna, like swimming lessons or chinese school or SOMTHING you know? I don't know but its just no FUN theres no SUBSTANCE like i mean there are times when its good but like things just dont feel right. I really hope that with the winter retreat it could bring people a lot closer and get a more frequent attedence rate. I'd love to hear what you people have to say about this, so you can always leave a comment or EVEN START YOUR OWN BLOG ABOUT IT! you like that subliminal advertising? dosn't it get to you? you know you wanna do it! hahah anyways so ya also as I was praying and meditating during fellowship today I was hit with a nice big smack of enlightenment. Lately things have been going pretty crappily. and when I mean crappily I mean its dang right DEPRESSING. Acctumitivly things pile up and its so gay! And in all of the situations I would pray about it right? and like I would ask God to help me out through it or help out the people that I have screwed up with. However, Before or even after I pray I would start dilligently thinking of what to say and how to deliver it to the people that I screwed up with. Little did I know I relyed fully on myself and not on God. This is where I screwed up big time. I realized that after I had already done my "first phaze" on this person and it was horrible( this was before prayer and stuff at fellowship). So when I was praying something out of nowhere, popped into my head saying : You gotta get urself straight with God first and then with your other relationships. And I was like wow, that was from a sermon a long time ago and usually I dont remember sermons and stuff but this one came up to me. And so I decided to start with God first and then move down the ladder, slowly one by one, one step at a time. So I first asked God to help me, to set me straight with Him first. My next task was not my friend that i've been focusing on for all this time but my dad. We had gotten into an argument and long story short I wasn't appreciative of all the things he did for me but thankfully today I slipped in a thank you as he dropped me off at school this morning and I knew it would stick with him for that day. But anyways I prayed for God to help me speak through me or do whatever through me to help me get on good terms with my dad again. It was pretty intresting, I didn't even really say anything it just HAPPENED and so like what happened was my parents got home, and so I went downstairs to "get my lunchbox out" which was my excuse or allaby to goto the kitchen where my dad was. And it didn't start off too well, my plan haha actually was to put down the lunchbox and say that was a pretty good lunch but I didn't even have to do that. I just put it down and I just looked at him hahaha and like i cracked up and so we started like play wrestling hahaha it was great. A bit odd but after a few days of tension it all ended up pretty swell. I thanked God and now I need to take that next step down the ladder, this one is definitly a toughy beacuse I can't screw up again. I already did, i even tried to reconcile but i failed sooooo miserably haha. I just hope God can speak through me on this one. Cause honestly I was on the verge of losing this friend but i felt somthing soo moving, some voice that told me to keep her. And i reflected on it and honestly she was one of the best things that ever happend to me in AY Jackson. (insert AWWWWW here) =) haha
On a much lighter note my body has been hating on me yesterday. WAYY back on saturday, i was hanging out with my parents and the wonderful centrepoint mall! We were walking around zellars of all places and we were just heading out when i see a few tables abruptly in the middle of the womens clothing section with tons of holloween candy. I get excited. I look and itsl ike 99cents for a big bag of assorted candy. I look inside the clear bag and I would see an assorment of candy from rockets to lollipops and everything. But my eye was focused on the rockets. Everytime I go trick or treating I'd always LOVE the rockts. They were the JOY and HAPPINESS of the bag. But i would never get enough of it. So i wanted to buy the bag so badly JUST for the rockets hahaha but my parents were like no r u stupid? haha apprently I was, but not enough so to buy the bag. So we moved down to other tables and i SWEAR there was like a GLOW around this, There she was, a TWO POUND BAG of ROCKETS. 120 of them to be exact. I look at the price tag -> 1.50 I quickly turn to my mom
and say: MOM, A DOLLAR FIFTY FOR ROCKETS! CAN WE BUY IT?
mom: do u want to die from candy?
me:its only rockets! they can't do anything to you
So since I had money on me, I grab a bag and get lined up =) Boy was i excited. Total came up to be 1.73 exactly. So i gave the lady a toonie and headed out into the mall. I ripped the bag open and engulfed myself into the savoury delight known as rockets. Long story short, in a span of 3 days I ate 60 rockets, which is half the bag and also 1 pound. HAHAHA. Now the thing is I was like ADDICTED. I said to myself, ok i'll eat one roll AND NO MORE. WHAT A LIE. Whenever i said that, i would end up eating 3-5 usually. It was all great, up until last night. Indigestion rolled around. and it didn't roll around once it came to me about 5 times in a row. So I spent quite a fair bit amount of my night on the toilet! And the feces were not inconsistant either. maybe that was a bit too much. but you know for all you aspiring doctors out there you can diagonse me with something hopefully? haha if iwas to diagnose myself with something it would be stupidity hAHA for eating so many! But I don't regret it beacuse they are so GOOD! But today I decided to cut it, to not eat it for the whole day and im about half an hour away from acheiving this. But it is so tempting to just reach down and grab one, cause its literally RIGHT beside me right now! hoestly though, i'm thinking of going there and buying another bag hAHA cause its sucha good deal!!! so ya that was my exciting update. Oh yes also i ahve a pair of brusies one on each of my knee caps! Thanks to hockey, but it was fun! and injuries just make you more of a man =) hahaha THATTS RIGHT. haha anyuways i'm doing NOTHING right now and its pretty stupid so I think im gonna go watch tv or like sleep. SO REMEMBER KIDS THE LESSON OF THE DAY IS:
START A NEW BLOG AND UPDATE IT OFTEN!! =D
wat the friggen hell?!?!
well You give and take away. and it has been taken away. everything was going soo nicely and allll of a sudden. it all disappears again and its starting to head down the same EXACT path as it was last time. i really gotta grab this by the horns and re-write my wrong and admit that I'M wrong. oh mann I really hope I can fix all of this.
Anyways tomorrow is battle of the bands and I have got the craziest story to tell. so anyways at our school thers like this event called battle of the bands, where people would make a band, pay like 5 bucks and perform on a friday night. Well I was pretty excited about this year beacuse I felt confident enough to play drums for a crowd and like I wanted to try my hands at secular music. However, the only problem I had was nobody knew I played drums! nobody at school knew cept for like the occasional friend here and there. But all of em have never heard me play. So I tried my best to get my name out there. THere was this once I walked into a practise hoping I could show off my talent to them. So they were practicing and so I was like hey can I try it out with you guys? just play your song and i'll follow along. hahah so I did my thing and one of my frends was like ya thats like better then what we have now, i never knew you played drums matt haha well i got that alot. anwyays so that was probably the start of it all. So nywayz it was a crazy chain of events. It all started back during my spare, where there was this white guy who i've known of since like the beginning of school but we never like talked or whatever. So we just started talking about family studies and stuff, he was pretty cool. Everyone would say how hes like one of the best guitarists in the school n stuff so you know gotta give him that respectness. So nyway one day i was talking to Pris and she was saying how they needed a drummer and they asked her, but she refused kuz it was really hard or something. So i was like hmm this was my oppertunity! so one day i decided to ask him if they needed a drummer, boy was i excited. but then he was like ya we already have a drummer, he duznt really play drums but he'll do i guess. i was like oh damn...well there goes my oppertunity for sure. So like a few days later i was reading one of my frends xanga's and she was saying how their band is kinda breaking down kuz of one person who didn't like the songs n stuff. Deep down I was kinda thinking it'd b the drummer cause i know all of them. and so i was thinking abou talking to my frend but i didnt for a while just beacuse we havnt for a long time and i just cant come out of the blue and ask her to be part of her band n stuff. Anyways the situation seemed hopeful for ME, but then the next post said they worked things out so I was like "happy" for them. So nwayyz a few days pass by and its like tuesday of this week. So I got completly CUT from tech crew, they didn't even get me out of class or anything it really pissed me off. So one day i was sitting in the caf eating my lunch and my friend from my spare comes up to me with this other guy i met from holloween actually, hes like hey r u busy now? i was like no why? hes like well we need a drummer for todays lunch practise and tmmrws lunch practise wanna do it? iw as like hmm well i have nothing better to do and Id like to play a few songs. So I decided to go with them. Played the 2 songs they were gonna perform and these guys were GOOD. No wonder htey are the 2 best guitarsts in the school and the bassist isnt too bad himself, hes pretty quick and nimble. anyways so after practise i was quite thankful i wasn't playing with them kuz the song is SOO HARD! it keeps changing times! like 6/8, 4/4, 6/8 over and over again! so after school i bump into the bassist and im like ya we practicing tmmrw? hes like ya ya i was like so m i like peroforming with u guys now or something? hes like ya ur good enuff, i was like wat about the other drummer? he wasl ike ya we kicked him out kuz we couldnt even find him. at that point i was like WOW. God is pretty amazing. The even crazier thing is though that, thats not even all of the story. So nyways that same day I was talking to my friend in family studies and i was asking how his band was doing, he was in the one that was talked about in my other frends xanga. He was saying how ya it was the drummer and how she didnt like the songs and bottled up everything. So jokingly i kept telling him if u ever needed a drummer u can get me. and he was like ya i wanna kick her out so badly . hAHAH and so i asked him about like wat r my chances and he was like iunno its not looking too good but we'll see what happens. so nywayz the class was over and I actaully saw my frend (the one who wrote the xanga) and I went up to her and i was talking to her about her band n like how she felt about everything. She didn't look too happy but again i tried to plug myself in and i was like you know if u ever need a drummer im ur man =) and she didnt look too happy just kuz she didnt wnat her frend booted outta the group kuz they were best frends. but the only chance I had to play was if she quit by herself. so i headed to tech crew to help set up. and my frends rush in the caf and theyre like MATT! you're drumming for us! i was like what!! how! what happend! so they told me how like she had to drop out kuz her dad didnt want her performing kuz they wanted her to focus on school n stuff. so she had to leave. so i wasl ike wow! that is so awesome. cool thing though is i have never practied with that band until rehersal and i hit that "practise" soo nicely. and i didnt do too bad with the beetles one. nywayz though i was so nervous cause i've never performed a song to ppl that i didn't really know and my reputation was on the line like mad. so it wasnt too bad kuz the lights shawn at you just right so that all you would see is darkness within the crowd. It was a totally differnet experiance kuz i needed to play really loud. like REALLY loud and hard and im used to controlling my strength at church. but this time i had to let EVERYTING out kuz you cant hear certain parts thanks to great tech crew who dosn't kno how to mic up the drums =S nywyz so the thing that bothers me now though is watching the ppl, drummers espeacilly, play. they r SOO GOOD. all of em. cept for like one. but other then that lal of em are CRAZY Good. its really intimidating. and the thing that pisses me off lately is drumming on tables. its SOO annoying. i do it sumtimz but when i haer other ppl doing it and even my own, i get sick of it.
anywyas iv been having ALOT of mixed up emotions as of late. emotions and feeling of inadiquency, lostness, anger,sadness, frustration,worry,fatigue. but definitly not really that happy. im so tired. i have al ong day ahead of me. i ask for ur prayers and i thank you =)
